- Is it hot in here?
- Why does my (random body part) hurt?
- I am so tired, why can’t I sleep??
- Omg, is that a beard?
- What happened to my body?
- WTF did I come in this room for??!
- And other adventures.
This is the introduction to a probably never ending series, because I am hoping to change your whole mindset, and I can go on and on…
Do you know: We are one of a handful of creatures that undergo a cessation of reproductive function and continue to exist for any worthwhile amount of time thereafter? (The rest of the beings, interestingly, are whales-Orcas, Belugas, Narwhals, and Short-finned Pilot whales-which at the very least makes one pause and wonder for a minute.) Anyway, for some of us, another whole half of our lifespan is AFTER we cease menstruating, and for most this era will be at least a third of their total lifetime.
I feel this very clearly indicates we, as women, have a higher purpose than life bearing, as if THAT ability alone weren’t remarkable enough! Some call this “the Grandmother Theory,” and I generally subscribe. This theory applies to you, regardless of having borne children or not. Regardless of ever having any desire to have your own offspring, regardless of the presence of children in your life at all. Think “Elder” instead of “Grandmother” and it might begin to feel like something you can wear. This is partially because we have been so socially conditioned to see ageing as negative versus a very natural goal that is to be revered and celebrated. Essentially, theorizing that women are designed to live longer than men to ensure knowledge and traditions are passed on and are essential to the survival of the pod. (Whales!) We are the wise women, passing knowledge, ensuring everyone’s survival. We just don’t know it anymore.
I read somewhere in my mountain of books on the subject that Perimenopausal transition to Menopause is the time in a woman’s life that all her issues come up and slap her in the face. (I’m sorry I can’t quote it at the moment and give credit, but you get the idea.) And it is, indeed, a time of reckoning. Who am I, really? Beyond the roles I play for others? Beyond the faces I wear? Why am I doing so many things I don’t want to do? What do I even WANT to do? What in the hell is happening to my body? My face?? Why did I quit the things I loved doing? How can I get some sleep, protect my bones, not melt down, not get breast cancer, protect my heart (literally and figuratively), and quit yelling at people or crying?
And this can be a remarkably different experience from one *woman to another, with some seeming to sail through without issue and some in a fiery hellscape or a roller coaster for a decade.
*I use the term “woman” out of ease and familiarity, but know that I am referring to anyone who has experienced a regular menses in their lifetime. We all have different body, gender and sexual identities and I will never intentionally exclued anyone.
So, firstly, menopause is NOT a disease state. It is not estrogen “deficiency”, not a pathological mechanism, and not anything you are not brilliantly designed to go through. It is a life gate, a time of transition and change. There are deep physiological changes occurring, literally changing our brains and bodies, and it is a process that occurs over years, beginning for most of us in our mid thirties.
Traditional Chinese Medicine calls this gate The Second Spring. And only *women get to go through it. As in, a second coming to life, as the earth does every springtime with shoots and sprouts. This is a developmental phase of a woman’s life. You are still developing, not falling apart! You aren’t going insane, you are becoming sane. Insanity is living only for others happiness and well-being to your own detriment. It is a return to a more self-centric existence, to reflect and learn who you are. A rebirth, if you will, necessary for the greater good of all. How do you live your most authentic life? How do you find purpose, now?
Secondly, this, too, shall pass. There is deep systemic recalibration occurring in your body. This is a process of transformation and does not occur overnight. And you might need some help along the way with lifestyle changes, stress management techniques, and yes, hormonal regulation. (Especially if you are concurrently rearing young children or have this joyfully coinciding with teenage angst in your home!) But there are some things you can start to focus on now to help or make this time easier.
Things you can do:
Diet
Organic, whole foods, protein, VEGGIE, and healthy fat focused. Quit using seed oils-use olive or avocado. Sugar acts the same as alcohol in your body. Processed food is not food and does not act like food in your body. (It acts like a drunken monkey in a pottery factory. Which is still sometimes totally worth it, but now you know.)
Quit alcohol
Or at least evaluate it in your life. I’m sorry! But, seriously, if you are experiencing hot flushing or night sweating or insomnia-this is critical. It’s like pouring gas on a fire. So limit your intake and know if you have some drinks, you are probably going to sleep poorly and drench the bed. Plan accordingly. There are loads of options available now for alternative relaxing beverages, explore mushroom and herbal concoctions!
Eliminate external toxins
It is appalling how many hormone disruptors are in women’s body/hair/cleaning products. Shop clean, changing out products as you need to buy them so this isn’t so overwhelming. Look for non-gmo and no animal testing if in doubt. You can also use the Think Dirty app to check products.
Movement and muscle building.
Walk, walk, walk, pilates, moderate weight lifting, yoga. PLAY.
Make sleep a priority
Stop screen time, drink tea, take a bath, meditate, do yin yoga, whatever to find your system to relax before bed. Sleep hygiene becomes critical for some and nothing gets repaired, restored, or refiled in your brain if sleep is not adequate. Studies are also showing women also require even more sleep during and after menopause.
Stress management
If you know me, you know I can’t say enough about meditation, breathwork or restorative yoga. Try Insight Timer if you want to explore styles and teachers. Try Calm or Headspace if you just need simple daily exercises to start. If you think you can’t learn to meditate- schedule a private meditation instruction with me by calling the office. There are a thousand short wind down/yin/restorative yoga sessions on youtube, try out different teachers or find your local studio that you vibe with. Get in some nature, it’s truly amazing what a quiet walk in some trees can do for your nervous system. This is much less effective if you are listening to a podcast while doing so.
Self-Care
You DO deserve a massage. Or a facial. Or both. With regularity. You also deserve time in your life for creative outlets, often returning to something we really enjoyed in our youth. Writing, drawing, sewing, carving, whatever-find or remember what lights you up.
Supplements
Vit D, an omega complex, zinc, magnesium and a good probiotic are basics I suggest to any woman over 35.
Community
Find your people, the ones who fill you and don’t drain you. Your front row people, who cheer you on. Go Volunteer-trust there is plenty of need in your community, find your thing-community garden, feed people, help out at an animal shelter, attend a unity church service, whatever. Find your sisters, women laughing together is medicine for the world.
Get Acupuncture
This helps all the things. Sleep, hot flushing, pain, moodiness, rage, digestion, stress, anxiety, all of it. Especially if they are also qualified herbalists!
Herbal Medicine
A lot of *women can benefit from herbal therapies to manage troublesome symptoms in this journey. I will be covering some basics in the future, but strongly suggest consulting a qualified herbalist for custom formulas. There are a thousand people selling miraculous cures on all social media platforms, but every BODY is different and there is no one thing that is going to help everyone.
More information on all these topics and goddess knows what else forthcoming.